In Comic Fashion
by kc creation
Summary: After losing a bet to Ayame, Kyo comes to realize just how depraved his boyfriend really is. kxh. A collaboration with the fabulous Keir!


**In Comic Fashion**

It was just a simple bet. It was stupid, and when he'd agreed, he wouldn't have ever imagined losing it. Kyo growled to himself, stuffing his hands in his pockets and stepping just a little faster than the boy beside him.

_'I bet you can't go three hours without yelling at someone, Kyonkichi!'_

The stupid snake-cursed had said.

What the silver haired man hadn't mentioned, however, was how Yuki and Shigure would mysteriously end up discovering their little bet, and act as completely unbearable as possible. The cat huffed once more, idly kicking a lone pebble across the sidewalk and out into the busy city streets. Strangely enough, no one seemed to be walking that morning. Maybe they were avoiding the orange haired boy and his flaring temper, or maybe no one dared walk the path to the unholy place where he was headed.

Even Haru seemed more quiet than usual, as he followed silently behind the fuming, older boy. Kyo felt guilt bubble in his stomach, realizing that the ox wasn't required to wake up three hours earlier than he usually would on a Saturday morning to keep the cat company as he upheld his end of that Goddamn bet. The black and white haired boy had insisted though, that it would be better for everyone if he was there to keep his kitten happy, and Kyo couldn't deny that the thirty minute walk would have been a bit lonely without him.

"Isn't this it?"

The younger boy asked suddenly, stopping to point at an elegant sign hanging high above a small shop to his right.

Sighing miserably, the cat confirmed that it was, and slowly made his way to the entrance, opening the door and wincing as the sound of chiming bells momentarily filled the air.

_'Fine! If I win, you have to cut off that stupid long hair of your's!'_

Ayame had winced at this, but nodded, a sly grin spreading across his features.

_'..and if I win..'_

god dammit.

"Kyonkichi! Hatsuharu! You have finally arrived, not a minute too late!"

The snake bounded from the back room, his bright, lacy clothing blowing dramatically behind him. A thin, bespectacled woman stood by his side, waving her hand in greeting and grinning like a mad person. Kyo glowered.

"Okay, okay, can't we just get the damn thing over with?!"

Ayame didn't skip a beat, and Haru smiled slightly at the strange way he and the cat interacted.

"Kyonkichi, I know you are just _bursting_ with excitement to model my fabulous creations, but first, Mine here has prepared us a light breakfast!"

The snake motioned to the girl by his side, and she blushed slightly, leading them toward the dining area. It wasn't as much of a dining area as a small, unused corner of the shop with with a single table and three chairs, but they sat wordlessly nonetheless.

Haru drank tea in silence, occasionally smiling over his cup at his blushing boyfriend, completely amused by Ayame's ramblings. When Mine passed out the coffee cakes, however, he couldn't help but notice the strange looks she and the snake exchanged, and the guilty way she smiled while handing the cat his plate. He sent the silver haired man a questioning glance, but the he only grinned, then turned to the oblivious Kyo and mentioned how said teen would love how _pretty_ his designs would make him feel.

"It's almost as if man was made to dress as a woman!"

He bellowed, seemingly ignoring the way this made Kyo bristle.

Haru thought his kitten was already pretty though- with his long, tanned limbs (completely devoid of any tan lines), piercing crimson eyes, and soft pink lips, that only the ox himself got to fully enjoy. He took a moment to steal a glimpse of his love, noting the unusually unfocused way the feline stared into his teacup, and how he suddenly really didn't seem all that bothered by Ayame's long, embarrassing rants.

The snake, however, seemed to take note of Haru's concerns, and all but swept the cat toward the dressing rooms, where he shoved him into a booth with a pile of dresses that the teen exclaimed he would die before wearing.

"Come Haa-kun, let's take a seat, lest you fall to the floor and weep at the beauty that will soon step foot out of that dressing room!"

He laughed loudly in self-satisfaction, sitting quickly and gracefully. Haru, who would have usually smiled at his antics, simply plopped into the chair next to the snake, staring at him warily.

"You put something in his food, didn't you?"

He asked suddenly, not quite catching the older man by surprise.

"Ahh, Haa-kun, you are a sharp one!"

He sighed, motioning uselessly into the air. Worry nagged at Haru's thoughts, even though he knew the snake had no bias against Kyo. So he was a bit overprotective, big deal.

"Relax, relax! It was just a bit of this!"

Ayame spoke cheerfully, pulling out a small, clear bag, which was stuffed with a familiar green plant that made Haru's eyes go so wide that it was almost painful.

"Where.. Where did you--?"

He drew out slowly, startled when the silver haired man interrupted him with his answer.

"My darling brother has been growing it in his garden for me, isn't that wonderful?!"

Haru furrowed his brow, eying the bag nervously. Ayame laughed proudly, commenting on how his younger brother loved him so much that he would go to such lengths just to help him out.

"Yuki grows.. Weed?"

Haru drew out, trying to envision _The Prince_ as a drug dealer, and the entire Mabudachi Trio stoned off their asses. Ayame had fallen silent for the first time the ox could ever remember, and when he finally spared the older man a look, he was confused to see that the snake was truly shocked.

"Yuki growing.. marijuana..?"

He broke into a fit of giggles, patting Haru on the shoulder as he did so.

"Oh, no, no! It's catnip, Haa-kun!"

He would have sighed in relief, but the squeaking of the changing room door distracted him. With it barely open, the black and white haired boy could only glimpse the orange of his kitten's hair, along with a very significant amount of white, and he strained his eyes to see through the small crack so he could glimpse whatever the cat was hiding behind that door.

"Haru, I swear to God, if you laugh, I'm cutting your balls off and shoving them up your ass!"

The younger boy just laughed, letting out a short, _'I know, Kyo, I know.', _before the orange haired boy stepped shyly out of the safety of the little room.

Haru realized that Ayame had been right about him needing to sit, because while he was by no means weeping, he was pretty sure he would have fallen to his knees at the sight of his beautiful lover, had his butt not been planted firmly in a chair.

The adorable blush that the ox loved oh-so much adorned the feline's cheeks, and not knowing what to do with his hands, he left them hanging limply at his sides. The dress itself fell around the cat's knees, exposing a bit of tanned flesh before matching stockings ran up his calves. The black hemming contrasted the otherwise pure, feminine theme, while the short sleeves poofed out, coming to end in a lacy strip around his arms, much like every other opening. A flowing white apron tied around the waistline, making his kitten's curves seem extra smooth, and covering a portion of the corset-style ties that ran from the neckline, through the middle.

Ayame apparently had taken pity on the cat, because the teen wasn't forced to wear heels, instead sporting a pair of schoolgirl type flats that buckled around his ankles. Though the length of the dress exposed his lover's perfect legs, and the shape accentuated the otherwise shallow curve from waist to hip, Haru's favorite detail had to be the frilly maid hat that tied just below the older boy's chin. Not only was it completely adorable, but he couldn't help but think that it was delightfully kinky as well.

"Kyonkichi, you look absolutely-"

The snake had begun, but Haru cut him off.

"Beautiful."

Kyo's flush darkened tenfold, and he scuffed his right foot against the ground in embarrassment. The cat seemed to be emitting a heavenly glow, and for the life of him, Haru couldn't stop gaping. He almost didn't notice the phone ringing, or Ayame announcing that he'd be back after he answered it. As soon as the snake was out of sight, however, Kyo slipped back into the dressing room with a sigh of relief, and the ox was brought back to earth.

He just couldn't help himself.

The ox slipped into the dressing room after the cat, shutting the door and locking it behind him. Kyo turned around, eyes wide. "H-Haru, what the hell are you doing in here?"

"You're beautiful, kitten."

Hatsuharu couldn't help himself as his fingers ran over the material of the dress over the cat's waist.

"You already said that,"

Kyo complained, though halfheartedly. The ox noted that the pupils were dilated on crimson eyes. His hand traveled upward, running over tan neck to cup one cheek. The cat's breath caught and he arched, trying to rub more of his face and neck against his boyfriend's hand. He caught himself and pulled away, back pressing tightly against the wall. "Cut it out, Haru," he tried to growl, but it came out weak.

Hatsuharu smiled, unashamed of the erection now tenting his pants. Kyo looked so sweet and innocent, like a blushing virgin. Normally the older boy was spitting and yowling, and while the ox loved that side of his kitten, he had never quite seen him so shy and out of place. His hands reached out, caressed the cat's waist, making the other squirm. He pulled Kyo close, spun him so that that tan backside was pressed flush against the ox's front. His hands continued to wander, playing with bits of lace while the other boy's blush deepened. The cat was almost panting now.

"There's a mirror in here,"

the ox said softly, reveling in the widening of crimson eyes. He smiled at their reflections. "It's like having two horny little kitties."

Kyo shut his eyes tightly, trying to pace his breathing.

"I feel hot."

"You are hot, kitten."

Hatsuharu ran his tongue over the shell of the cat's ear, eliciting a moan from the shorter boy. "Ayame certainly outdid himself." His hands roamed downward, began lifting the white material of the skirt.

"H-Haru, stop!"

Despite his protestation, Kyo's fingers gripped pale arms without hindering them.

The ox smiled at every inch of skin that was revealed; the cat seemed to pant harder as the material dragged against his skin on the way up. Finally the best part was about to be exposed and Hatsuharu found his breath stuck in his throat at what he discovered.

He had expected the cat to be wearing boxers under the dress, but that was most definitely not the case. The panties gracing the tan boy's body were lacy and black with white trim, an inverted color scheme to his dress. A bulge lay under all that lace, obscene and tantalizing. Pale fingers ran over the edge of the silky lace, barely brushing exposed tan skin. Little noises came from the crossdressing boy's throat.

"Kyo-chan, you do realize you didn't have to put the panties on. Ayame never would have known if you hadn't."

The cat's eyes widened at the revelation, a growl rising in his throat. Hatsuharu nuzzled his ear.

"But I'm glad you wore them. So sexy."

Kyo would have blushed more if he could.

"Stupid ox."

Said ox chuckled deviously, pulling the panties down just enough to expose a flushed hard-on surrounded by orange curls. This time the cat really did squirm in protest, trying to pull the folds of the skirt down to cover himself.

"Don't be ashamed, kitten. I don't think I've ever seen you look so pretty."

"Who wants to be pretty?" the cat spat, still struggling feebly. If he'd had his full strength, he could have easily thrown the ox through the dressing room door, but he just felt so weak, so odd…

Hatsuharu started stroking him at the same time that his tongue touched down on the sensitive tan skin of the cat's neck. Kyo arched, mewling, pressing his bottom back against the ox's pelvis. The younger boy groaned, grinding his hips against his lover. He stroked harder, milking the first drops of precum from the tip.

Suddenly the ox released his lover's erection, much to the cat's annoyance. He smirked into the mirror as he suddenly knelt down.

"It wouldn't do to rip these. Ayame would get upset, I think."

Hatsuharu reached up under the skirt and slowly dragged the panties downward and off the cat's legs. He blew air up the skirt; Kyo made a strangled noise at the feeling of air blowing over his exposed crotch. The ox kissed the skin just above the white stockings before standing again. "Sorry, Kyo."

"Wha—" the cat started to ask when his shoulder was shoved. He almost fell over, caught himself with hands outstretched to rest against the wall.

Hatsuharu was already preparing himself, stroking his own erection and coating himself with lube. His other hand reached over, pushed the skirt up to expose the cat's backside.

"What the hell, Haru!"

"Kyonkichi, Haru, are you all right?"

The two in the dressing room froze as the snake knocked on the door.

Before Kyo could open his mouth and give them away, Haru stuffed the pair of panties in his lover's mouth, gagging him.

"We're fine, Ayame. Kyo was having trouble with some of the zippers and ties. Would you mind grabbing another outfit for him to try on?"

"Oh, of course! Oh, I knew Kyonkichi would come to love my fabulous designs!"

They could hear the older man rambling on as he left to find another suitable costume. The cat's brows were drawn down and the sounds that got past the panties in his mouth were not happy ones.

"I should have told Ayame to get more coffee cake while he was at it…" the ox said.

Kyo looked confused, and Hatsuharu almost laughed at the sight of the black lace peeking out from between his lips. The ox leaned over his boyfriend, rubbed his cheek against the little frilly hat on top of orange hair.

"Forgive me for taking advantage."

The cat made a muffled quizzical sound.

Hatsuharu's hips thrust forward and penetrated the cat. Kyo arched, a deep groan caught by the panties still in his mouth. He tried to take the offending underwear out when the ox stopped him.

"Leave it there. Ayame will hear you if you don't."

The ox ground his hips, his length deep inside, and hit the cat's prostate, which fended off any further protests.

But one thing was for sure. As the effects of the catnip began to steadily wear off, the heat was back in Kyo's eyes, and he swore to himself that after this he was going to kick Haru's ass.

Hatsuharu thrust steadily, enjoying the sight of silky white lace adorning Kyo's body. It was so beautiful, so pure.

So unlike his kitten, which was maybe why it was so intoxicating. The cat seemed so in his element wearing black shirts and baggy pants. Looking so clean just made him that much more sexy.

"Lift up your skirt," the ox panted.

Kyo grumbled but complied, pulling the skirt up further.

"Look how beautiful you are," Hatsuharu said, his voice deep with lust.

He watched crimson eyes finally look over at the mirror, widen in horror, then shut tightly.

"Kitten, I want you to watch."

A pale hand caressed full, tan buttocks. He wanted so badly to spank his boyfriend while the opportunity presented itself, but the sound would be too loud.

Crimson eyes opened again; they had that faraway look that told the ox he was far gone. The cat stared at their mirror images: his skirt hiked up around his waist, erection seeming to violate the image of him as a female. The ox hadn't even bothered to get naked, pants unbuttoned and unzipped, his length sticking out and buried inside the older boy.

Kyo mumbled something that sounded like "Haru." The ox wrapped an arm around the cat's waist and swung him to the side so that his hands were now braced against the mirror.

"Keep your skirt lifted up," Hatsuharu murmured and Kyo lifted the skirt higher to expose his length.

The cat watched in embarrassment as his cock bobbed up and down with each thrust. Precum leaked from the tip, which was flushed red and begging to be touched. He thought the stockings looked absolutely ridiculous.

Hatsuharu's hand traveled down and began stroking him, which eliminated all thoughts of complaint. Muffled moans escaped the gag. Kyo was pushing back against him now, trying to take him deeper. Smeared hand prints were left on the mirror.

"Kyo, you're so beautiful."

The ox groaned as muscles tightened around his hardness. He came inside his lover, fingers grasping tightly at the other boy's hip.

The cat panted, trying to catch his breath behind the gag. Haru was still buried inside him. The ox, that bastard, was stroking just beneath the head of his cock, that particular spot that could make Kyo come faster than anything else. He tried to hold it off, to deny Haru the satisfaction of making him ejaculate, but it was no use.

Kyo arched as he came, cock twitching in the ox's pale hand as his seed hit the mirror, sliding down, down. Finally pale fingers coated with strings of come came up, removed the now-wet panties from the cat's mouth.

Kyo's eyes blazed.

It took him a moment to regain his composure. He stood -no, _slumped_- against the mirror, breath fogging his reflection and knees feeling so weak that he would surely fall it it weren't for his lover. His ankles felt swollen from those goddamn shoes, and though the lightheadedness was slowly fading, his mind was still far from clear.

"Kyonkichi, I've found another fabulous dress for you!"

The snake's voice seemed to boom throughout the small building, causing Kyo's urge to kill to increase tenfold.

"Just a moment,"

Haru's tone was placid as he smoothed out the (now slightly damp and wrinkled) panties, his fingers staining the the dark material with his kitten's ejaculate.

"We're almost finished."

He was then on his hands and knees, white mop of hair hidden beneath Kyo's skirt before the cat could even protest. A gentle hand wrapped itself around the cat's left ankle.

"Lift up your leg, kitten."

He was answered with a foot in the the eye, as the angry feline found himself kicking Haru's _face_ instead of his _ass_.

"What the fuck did you just do to me?!"

The cat snapped, though he still had enough sense to whisper.

"We made love, kitten. We've done it before. I'm sure you remember."

The second kick met him in the shoulder, and it was obvious that the cat put a lot more force behind it than he did the first.

"NOT IN _PUBLIC!_"

He nearly hollered, only catching himself when he heard Ayame makes a curious sound somewhere outside the door.

"But you enjoyed it."

The ox's fingers were working those cursed panties up his calf, only stopping to lift his other leg just as gently, pulling his foot through the hole.

Kyo sputtered, barely noticing as the damp article of clothing was placed securely around his waist, and Haru's face was removed from under his skirt.

"That's not the point!"

It sounded more like a screech than anything else, but he was far too embarrassed to keep his voice down.

"And get your perverted hands off of me!"

He nudged the ox and his groping fingers away forcefully with the thick heel of his shoe, although the room was so small that Haru could still touch him if he really wanted to. (Which he did.)

"Calm down, Kyo-chan. Do we need to get you another coffee cake?"

The cat's back was now pressed firmly against the mirror, as his hands tried desperately to force the skirt as far down as possible. The air on his damp underwear only served to make him feel dirtier and overexposed.

"Why do you keep bringing up that damn coffee cake?!"

The ox sent him a strange look, standing from his kneeling position and grasping his kitten's chin.

"Forgive me, Kyo-chan."

He drew out guiltily, running his thumb over the cat's cheek.

"But there was catnip in your food."

The next few seconds were a blur, mixed with the sounds of Kyo's angry bellows and the sensation of flying through the air.

Ayame jumped in surprise as the door slammed open, falling from its shattered hinges, a giant crack running through its center.

Haru hit the floor with a dull thud, skidding across the tile for a moment before coming to a stop. Confused brown eyes stared up at the ceiling, ignoring the noise that blared around him.

"Kyonkichi! Ladies do not kick gentlemen through doors! Why are you still in your dress? What were you and Hatsuharu possibly doing in there for so long?"

The tone of his voice suggested that he wasn't as angry as he was terrified, and very, very amused. Kyo didn't seem to catch this, however, as his face flushed cherry red, and he appeared quite horrified that the snake may have figured out what they had been up to.

"I suppose you'll just have to try on another dress, Kyonkichi."

The silver haired man decided with a flourish of his hand.

"To pay for the broken door, of course!"

Haru now sat cross legged on the tiled floor, watching the exchange with interest.

"Sounds good to me."

The ox interjected, just a little too eager for his boyfriend's liking.

Something in his voice seemed to promise more than just another fitting, and Kyo felt a shiver run up his spine.

"Fine!"

The orange haired teen growled, snatching the offered outfit from Ayame's grip.

"And bring me another coffee cake!"

The younger teen spotted bits of blue material from the bundle in his boyfriend's arms, along with a pair of handcuffs that hung from the belt loop of what was apparently a policewoman's uniform.

Haru wondered vaguely if he could bribe Ayame to make him a pimp costume, cane and all. Or maybe the shop supplied whips, or even nipple clamps.

He smiled lecherously as Kyo closed the dressing room door.

His kitten didn't know what he was in for.

_fin._

_--_

_**Keir: **__We have written a smut Oreo. X3 I pestered kc creation to let me co-author with her! 33_

_**kc creation: **__It's not really pestering if I begged you.. But this was an amazing writing experience nonetheless! Let's see how many people can pick out the part's that Keir wrote! Also, there are so many inside jokes in this story, it should be illegal._

_**Flyingdaggers**__ and __**xOrlaithx**__ are to blame for this insanity. Daggers for torturing me, and Orl-chan for being such a big pervert. I lurves you guys x3_


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